Breaking Light
by Ma Vie et Mon Choix
Summary: With the dawn comes light and with light comes truth. Becky centered
1. Silent Convulsing

A/N: This is a rewrite of Until Tomorrow. Plot is the same, with minor differences... and this time, I don't sound like a 12 year old hopped up on pixie sticks. It will also be in third person, granted it will be third person limited. The story is already written and uploaded, so don't worry about me flakin' out on you.

I also want to mention today is my birthday. My _sweet_ sixteen, actually. Just thowing it out there... lol

Warning: Contains mentions of rape, though the actual event is not shown.

Year: 1998

Ages: D.J. is 21, Stephanie is 16, Michelle is 12, and the twins are 7. I promise all ages are right this time and I will not mess up the time stream as badly as I did last time.

--

The room was dark and cool. She laid on her back, her eyes squeezed shut. She tossed her head twice more before finally freeing herself of the nightmare and opening her eyes.

She glanced to the corner and saw a figure. Quickly, desperately, she blinked her eyes, willing the shadow to disappear. Instead her vision cleared and she saw it was only a vacuum.

She almost laughed at herself.

She ran a hand through her hair and listened to the relaxed breathing of her husband. He was calm and beautiful. She smiled.

She strained her ears just a bit more and heard no movements coming from her children's room.

She smiled contently knowing that soon the family would have a place of their own. Only thing left was the actual act of moving. She looked around again, realizing this night would be one of the last nights she stayed in this attic, or at least, as a resident of the attic.

Her eyes glanced around the familiar walls until another shadow stopped her. She inhaled sharply and felt her stomach drop.

Numbly she stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. She closed the door before she allowed herself to turn on the light and relieve herself of the hallucination.

The light was bright and white hot. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them again. She felt her heart race suddenly and made her way to the toilet, knowing full well that soon the white bowl would be her best friend.

And then it began. The dry heaving. Her body retched and she felt her throat burn. It was all too much. Soon she could feel sweat break out on her forehead and her eyes water. As her body continued to convulse she prayed she hadn't woken anyone up.

She rolled her eyes and gave herself time to breathe. Not long after, her jello legs became solid and she pulled herself up to look in the mirror.

The image all but broke her heart.

Her hair was matted and greasy. Her normally olive tinged skin was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes.

She turned on the tap and splashed some cold water on her face before combing her hair. She debated on showering, she was ashamed to admit it, but she was afraid to. Something about the dark and not knowing what lurked behind the curtain of black scared the hell out of her, as if she was a child again.

She turned the light off and headed towards the living room, obviously sleep just would not befriend her tonight.

When she made her way to the room she saw a figure on the couch. That disgusting, tainted, blue and white couch.

She sighed and turned on her heel, opting for the kitchen and a quick snack. But instead, the figure had to call out.

"Aunt Becky?"

Busted. "Hey sweetie." She turned and smiled.

"What are you doing up so late?" It was Steph.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She playfully put a hand on her hip.

Stephanie shrugged, "Couldn't sleep."

Becky made her way to the chair, "Me either." She glanced at the TV. "What are you watching?"

Stephanie looked at the screen, "_The Real World_."

Silence.

"Steph, are you alright?" The blond looked at her and nodded slightly. "Because, you know I love you. You know I'm always here."

The teen looked up again and Becky noticed how her blue eyes were laced red. "I just miss my mom." Becky stilled. "I miss D.J. too."

Becky inhaled and thought. "I know." She almost wanted to slap herself. The poor girl was just about pouring her heart out (a bit of an exaggeration perhaps) and all Becky could think of was, _I know_.

Stephanie sighed. "It's just stupid. It's Keith." She laughed softly, sarcastically and the sound was so hallow, so hurt that Becky knew she never wanted to hear it again.

Stephanie sniffled a little and looked at her. "Can I ask you a question?"

Becky smiled a little. "Of course."

Stephanie began to wring her hands together, "How old. No, when-" She took a deep breath, "How old were you when you first had… ya know." She was embarrassed and Becky, if she wanted to be frank, was a bit taken aback.

She faltered a little before taking a breath and centering herself. "Seventeen." Stephanie nodded and a thought struck her, "Why?" The blond shrugged. "Did Keith say anything to you?"

Stephanie wrung her hands a bit more. "He just mentioned the idea."

Becky looked at her and wondered how all the years could have passed. She'd met Stephanie when the girl was just four, and now here she was. An almost grown up sixteen year old.

"Stephanie, you don't have to do anything."

"I know." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "He just… well, it feels like I'm the only-God, I sound like an after school special…"

Becky leaned forward a little. "Virgin?"

Her head shot up. "Yeah."

Becky straightened herself up and crossed her legs. "Don't feel pressured into anything. You are not--"

"Aunt Becky, I know I'm not the only one. It just feels that way. And Keith is getting frustrated, I can tell."

"If Keith can't wait then he doesn't deserve you. If he really cared he wouldn't rush this."

"I know. It's just that--"

"I'm not finished." Stephanie stopped and dropped her head. "Look, sex is a very personal thing. You don't want to be rushed into it. If you are, you'll regret it forever."

Stephanie bit her lip. "You were young… Do you regret it?"

Becky smiled. "No. We'd dated since eighth grade. We'd talked about it and we were the definition of high school sweethearts. We loved each other." Becky smiled at the memory and was suddenly hit with the fact that her night had completely turned around.

She cleared her throat. "It was nice. I felt safe and loved, and that's how it should be."

Stephanie nodded and sniffled again. "Thanks."

Becky smiled. "Anytime. So, how's _The_ _Real World_ going?"

Stephanie smiled. "I don't know. Gia really likes this show, so I figured I'd give it a chance… but it just isn't working." She clicked a button on the remote and smiled, "So, really I'm watching this."

Becky looked and smiled. _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. "Well, I personally like this idea much better."

Stephanie sat up a little and began to move, "Want to sit on the couch?"

Becky looked at the old thing. "No thanks, I'm pretty comfy." She smiled and felt her stomach do a flip-flop.

The girl shrugged. "More room for me." And she tossed the blanket out further and turned the TV up.

Becky looked at the screen with dead eyes. _Happy Seventh Anniversary_, She thought bitterly to herself.

--

A/N: Like I said, I made some changes. I personally think it is better this way. And D.J. is away at school. I don't own Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Real World, please don't sue.

And also, the timeline should be right now. Before it was so completely jacked up, it wasn't even funny. So, please Review and let me know if you like it, if not, I'll keep posting (It's a peace of mind thing for me ;-) )


	2. The Light Brings Truth

A/N: Chapter Two! This is different from the originally story. I hope you like it. Please review and tell me!

Dedicated to my nightowl buddy, Cusswords. It's her b-day tomorrow. Yay! Enjoy, Cuss. ;-)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

--

"Becky." It was a whisper. "Becky." Soon her body began to shake a little. She groaned. "If you are going to work, wake up."

Becky slowly opened her eyes and curled tighter together. "I'm not."

Danny stared down at her. "What do you mean, 'I'm not'?"

Becky opened her hazy eyes again. And sighed. "What time is it?"

"You have an hour."

She stood up and stretched. She glanced toward the couch and smiled softly to see Stephanie still asleep. Lucky girl had the day off.

Danny was mumbling something, but Becky ignored him. She needed to wake up, she needed to happy. _Wake_ _up, San Francisco _needed happy people to wake them up.

She stepped into the shower and tried to wake her tired brain up. The water that hit was warm, and it made Becky relax. Her body was a little sore, that damn chair just wasn't big enough.

And she froze.

She was disappointed when the bliss of morning fogginess wore off and she remembered her life. Today was the day. Seven years. And Becky couldn't help it, she was bitter.

She scrubbed harder, her skin the object in which she took her frustration out on.

The previous year she did her best to not even remember it, she had even made plans to forget. Nothing big, just some retail therapy with the girls. It was fun, but at the end of the day she had a glass of wine. Her mistake, and she remembered with such a force she'd dropped the glass.

So, she just watched a movie and refused to sleep. She stayed awake, thinking.

The year before, the fifth anniversary, she'd tried to celebrate. She'd bought herself a cupcake and a candle. Told herself it was like a birthday, she'd survived, hadn't she?

But the more and more she thought about it, the more and more she was disgusted with herself. In the end, she wasn't a survivor, she was still a victim. And that thought pissed her off.

The years before were much the same. She took the day off of work and slept. Every other year she'd drink herself into a stupor, or she'd take long baths until the idea of her own body sickened her so much she had to shower. Either way, she had yet to acknowledge the _thing _in a healthy manner.

Becky turned the water hotter. She'd felt his hand on her thigh and waited for the water to burn it away.

She sighed when it didn't. So, instead, she tried to ignore the feeling. It was stupid, really, to feel something that happened almost seven years ago. _Three hundred, sixty-four days and six hours and sixteen minutes._ She winced at the thought.

The water turned hotter. Her skin grew redder.

She let the water run until finally she couldn't stand it and stepped out. She wrapped the towel around herself and looked in the mirror.

The steamed distorted image met her eyes. And, for a moment, she was happy with what she saw.

A fragment of the woman she once knew.

She wiped the steam away and began to apply her makeup, a mindless effort. Something to distract her mind while it fell into routine. Softly she hummed _Blue Suede Shoes_.

Next she did her hair, happy with the recent change to a shorter style.

Once she was done she crept into the room and picked a black skirt, and a button up blouse. It would do.

She looked into the boys room and smiled softly, watching their tiny bodies rise and fall with each breath they took.

--

The car ride was silent. Danny put some talk show on and Becky stared out the window. The sun had just rose and the sky was a glorious pink and orange mix. The sun was bright and warm.

Becky smiled softly, perhaps today wouldn't be so bad.

Becky continued to glance at the Heavens until Danny finally turned the engine off. "Ready Freddy?" He grinned goofily.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course."

The two stepped out and made their way to the studio. "Don't forget the guest."

Becky glanced up. "The guest?" Danny nodded, in a-just-said-that sort of fashion. "I thought we were taking calls in or something. About favorite high school memories in light of the Sadie Hawkins Dance."

Danny picked up his pace a little. "Didn't you get the memo?"

"Obliviously not." She was beginning to get irritated, her good mood gone.

Danny swallowed nervously. "Well, they changed that to Monday. The station wanted us to do a special. It seems that date rape is becom-"

Becky's heart skipped a beat. And pathetically all she could think was: _Seriously?_

"Anyway, we're having a rape crisis counselor come and talk about it." Danny finished.

--

The show went, well, Becky wouldn't really say smoothly, but okay. Becky had found herself asking way too many questions and receiving too many honest answers.

The counselor, a Mary Hendrix, gave her a card. Telling her to call if she had any questions or just wanted to talk.

The way Mary looked at Becky made her sick. Mary knew. She had to.

On her lunch break Becky headed home. She took a little longer than usual, but figured it was owed to her.

Once she made it inside she sat on the couch, the card turning her hands.

"Aunt Becky?" It was Michelle. "Are you okay?"

Becky looked up and back down, realizing her hands were shaking slightly. "Fine."

Michelle looked at her a moment longer and finally shrugged. "Stephanie went to Jane's and I was wondering if Jacey could come over."

Becky looked up and nodded. "Sure."

Michelle smiled. "Thanks."

Then she ran up the stairs and Becky heard her make a quick call. She took a breath.

The card was simple. It was white and it had Mary's name, profession, work address, her work number, and, on the back, Becky found a cell phone number. She twirled the card a little longer.

Finally the anxiety was too much and she grabbed the phone.

"Hello." It was Mary, her voice tender.

Becky gulped. "Hi, this is um.. Rebecca Katsopolis. From, uh, _Wake Up, San Francisco._"

Mary began to speak. She told Becky she'd been expecting her to call, she was proud that she did. Mary gave advice to Becky and gave a few options.

Becky said a few words, but never actually admitted anything. And to Becky's gratitude, Mary didn't press.

By the time Mary finished Becky felt emotionally exhausted. But, with a look at the time she realized that if she wanted to feel any better, if she wanted to follow Mary's advice, she was going to have to attend a group meeting. Which started in half an hour.

She sighed and stood, amazed at how much time had passed. She had completely skipped the rest of the shift, which she had to admit, she'd planned on doing anyway.

She went upstairs and changed into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. She wondered where Jesse was, but she pushed the thought away almost instantly. He'd taken the boys out. Ice cream or something, she couldn't remember.

Now, all she had to do was convince herself to go. Convince herself that that morning's dawn was there for a reason. It gave light, and with light always comes the truth.

--

A/N: Lame ending, but okay overall. Again, I made a change. I realize that jogging from 5-11 is nearly impossible, let alone on a very empty stomach… so I didn't that. lol. I hope this was okay. Review please! And it is around Jan. The boys were born in Nov... and yep. It will make sense next chapter. Promise. :)  
Review please!


	3. George Orwell's 1984

A/N: I didn't change too much here. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

--

Room 101. For a moment Becky had a flash to high school. She was a freshman. Her name was Rebecca and that was that. She was dorky and gawky and one of the few kids who enjoyed classic literature.

George Orwell's 1984 sprung to her mind. In Room 101 the worst fears of its victims were presented. Poor Julia. Winston turned his back on her and she was faced with his fears, his rats.

Room 101 held Becky's fears that day. She sympathized with Julia. Inside that room Becky's own rats awaited to eat away at her.

She shivered.

She paced in front of the door, occasionally pulling the sweat jacket tighter around herself.

She put her hand on the door just as a loud noise shattered any confidence she had. She turned sharply to see a woman, probably in her mid thirties, bustle down the hallway. She looked disgruntled and her brown hair was slightly frizzed. She wore a business suit: pinstriped pants and a matching jacket. Her heels clicked against the linoleum.

"Damn husband." She muttered to herself, while digging in her bag. She was about three feet from Becky when she noticed her. "Jesus!" She was out of breath.

Becky smiled sheepishly. "Hi."

The woman looked closer at her. "Oh, my God!" A smile suddenly broke across her face and Becky was surprised to see the woman was quite pretty. "You're Rebecca Katsopolis!"

Becky gave another sheepish smile, "Guilty."

"We love you! My kids and I watch you every morning." The woman was bright.

"Thank you." She glanced around nervously. "Always nice to meet fans."

The woman nodded. "I'm Cheryl." She grabbed Becky's hand. "What brings you to the lovely community center?"

Becky dropped her hand and tucked them into the pockets of her jacket.

Cheryl seemed oblivious. "If you are doing a report I want to put in that I think the place needs better management. The walls are all peeling and the lights flicker constantly. Not to mention the damn roaches." She cursed.

Becky glanced around and noted that she was right. "I'm not here for a report."

Cheryl gawked at Becky for a moment before glancing at the room. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Cheryl's face was soft, but had lost the glow that it held just seconds before. "First time?" Becky nodded. "Well," she grabbed Becky's wrist, "come on."

Cheryl turned the knob and soon Becky was in the room. _Bring on the rats_.

"Hey Cher, you're late." Laughed a woman, she seemed to be about twenty-six. Her eyes were a soft green and her hair was blond.

"I know, I know. Damn husband." Cheryl teased back. The blond's eyes traveled from Cheryl over to Becky and she could feel her face get hotter. "Oh, right, this is Rebecca Katsopolis." She smiled gently. "It's her first meeting."

The circle mumbled hellos and Becky took a seat next to Cheryl.

"Hello, Rebecca." An older woman, older than Becky it seemed, spoke. "My name is Robin." Becky gulped and nodded a hello.

"So," Cheryl spoke again, deflecting attention from the new girl, "Brad took the kids today, right?" The group nodded. "I swear to God, I ask him to take them once a month. And he can't do that." She shook her head. "So, he takes Gloria and Anne, right?" She glanced toward Becky, "Anne is six months old, remember that." Becky glanced at Cheryl, she sure didn't look like that six months after Nicky and Alex were born.

"Anyway, he took them to the park. Good idea, cute, right? And Gloria loves the swings. Well, Mr. Perfect called me just as I was about to leave. He says, 'Cher, Anne's crying. What time am I suppose to feed her?' I tell him every three hours. He tells me he did that, but she won't stop. I asked him the last time she was changed. The man forgot the freaking diaper bag, so I had to drop it off. You'd think with round two he'd remember these things." She huffed. "Whatever."

The group laughed politely. Becky cracked a grin. "So," Robin began, "Rebecca, tell us about yourself."

Becky felt herself shrink a little. She really didn't like this. "I'm married. I have two boys, twins." She smiled softly. "I grew up in Nebraska."

Robin nodded. "I know what it's like. I was raped twelve years ago."

Becky's eyes widened slightly. Well, that was… blunt. "Oh."

"I know it's hard. But talking does help."

Becky cleared her throat. "Seven years ago." She wasn't sure how loud it came out. She glanced at her watch. "Well, six years, three hundred sixty-four days and twenty-one hours ago." She gave a bitter laugh, "Happy Anniversary to me."

A small girl looked up. "I celebrate them." She had a pixie cut and dark hair. Her nose was pierced and she was very petite. She wore a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "I make them a second birthday." She smiled.

Robin glanced at the girl. "Yes, Lydia is very perceptive for an eighteen year old."

"Eighteen?" It was out before Becky could stop it.

Lydia nodded. "I was a kid when it happened. My bother's friends were high and, well… whatever. I've had time to think."

Becky suddenly felt small, very small and very pathetic. If a girl, a young girl, could move on, why the hell couldn't she?

Robin cleared her throat. "Did you do anything?"

Becky shook her head. "I went to work. We had a special guest. I guess I gave myself away."

Cheryl spoke up again, "Nah, you were great. I just thought you were interested." She paused. "You might want to prepare yourself."

Becky looked confused. "For what?"

"For the onslaught of fan mail from survivors."

"Oh."

The blond looked up. "At least you have your husband to go through it with you. Must be nice." She gave a sad smile.

Robin nodded. "Has he helped you through this?"

Becky gulped. Well, hell. "He doesn't know." And that was when Becky stopped. She heard a few gasps and put herself on autopilot. Her eyes, she was sure, glassed over slightly and her posture fixed itself.

"You never told him?" She wasn't sure who asked.

"Nope." Deadpan.

"Have you told anybody?" It was a voice she was sure she hadn't heard before.

"No."

"Why?"

Becky glanced in the direction of whoever said it. She was black and had a very clear complexion. Her eyes were dark and her hair was curly. Becky's eyes were dark as she stared the woman down. "Because it never came up. Then, years later I didn't think it would be appropriate to be at the dinner table and say 'Hey, pass the peas and oh, yeah, a few years back the plumber raped me while you were at the zoo. The dinner's great by the way.'" She spat.

There was silence for a moment and Becky could not honestly says he was surprised by her anger. What she was surprised by was her honesty. That was a mouthful and she dropped it on complete strangers.

The room was silent.

Becky rolled her eyes, "I'm sure I wasn't the only one to spill my guts here." She slammed her body back against the chair and crossed her arms over herself defensively.

"Are you mad at them?" It was Lydia.

"Of course!" She shouted, a little louder than she'd meant. "I don't expect the girls to know. But seriously! Three, full grown men don't realize when the only adult woman there suddenly flinches at their touch? They didn't notice that suddenly I didn't care how I looked?" She scoffed. "It's ridiculous. And I know I'm not that good of an actor. Really, you can only use the excuse of childbirth for so long."

Cheryl glanced at Becky, "It was after your boys were born?"

Becky nodded. "Two months. Talk about Hell."

There was silence again and Becky was still angry, no she was still pissed, but she kept silent. Finally someone spoke. She was sure she tried to talk to Becky, but eventually she gave up. So, the conversation turned to the blond, who Becky found out's name was Kelly.

They talked a little longer and before Becky understood what was going on, the meeting was over. People were getting up and Becky trailed behind.

Cheryl stood at the door, waiting. She grabbed Becky by the elbow. "You have to tell him."

Becky looked at her. "Who the hell are you, to tell me what I have to do?" Okay, that time Becky was slightly stunned at her own words and behavior.

Cheryl just smiled sadly. "A survivor who waited two years after marriage to tell her husband. It's hard, but it will be okay. He'll understand." Becky stared at her, feeling suddenly much calmer. "You'll be back next month?" Becky nodded mutely. "Good, I'll see you then." And then Becky was left in the buzzing hallway.

--

A/N: How am I doing with the characters?

I also want to point out this one symbol because I am just too damn proud of it. lol. The buzzing hallway means the flickering lights. Remember that light is a symbol of truth and with the flickering light there is a flickering truth. It all comes down to what Becky use to know, what she does know, and what she wants others to know. It makes sense in my head and I freakin' love it! lol... sorry, I'm done now.


	4. Lips painted with Tears

A/N: I'm not even going to lie. The way I feel about posting is the very definition of nervous. Reviews would be nice. Tell me what to do, what to fix. Ya know? Please and thank you. --Nightcrawler: I wanted to wait for you, I did, but it was getting late and I'm leaving tomorrow for the weekend. I felt I owed everyone an update. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, this is dedicated to you. :D

Man, I feel like an ass. Okay, the year is 1999. It is Jan. 1999. The boys would be seven Nov. 12, 1998, but I had to had a few months and BAM, we are in 1999. I apologize greatly. As you can see, my math sucks. Also, I'm pulling a fan-wank, as Cuss calls them. I screwed up on Steph's birthday, not really noting it was in Jan. So, I'm changing her birthday to March. Okay? Great.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

--

Becky walked through the doors and smiled. The family, excluding Jesse and D.J, was watching some show. She wasn't sure what. Dawson's Creek, perhaps.

They all waved a hello and Becky almost laughed at the laziness.

Becky made her way to the kitchen and saw a plate left for her. She put it in the microwave and meandered around the kitchen. She wiped the clean counter and folded the dishrag a couple times.

The microwave beeped and she burnt her hands on the ceramic plate. She cursed under her breath and dropped the plate on the counter. She hadn't noticed the contents before and now she wished she hadn't at all. It looked like meatloaf, which would have been fine, had they not had for the past three days. Becky might not have been the best cook, or anywhere close to okay, but even she could do better.

She turned around and rummaged the cupboards. Finally landing on cereal and milk.

Nicky and Alex came in the door just as Becky was going to take her first blissful bite of Trix. "Daddy wants you." Alex said.

"He said it's important." Nicky finished.

Becky took her first bite and sighed. She spoke while she chewed, a hand covering her mouth. "Finish this up for me." She put the bowl on the table and let the boys have at it.

She knocked mockingly on the door. "You wanted to see me?"

Jesse appeared, looking cute as ever, Becky had to admit. "Hey, babe." He did his Elvis impersonation and Becky rolled her eyes. He came closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey."

He kissed her lightly before releasing her and walked away. "Where were you today?" He called from the room.

She sighed. "Out. What are you doing?"

She stepped into the room and saw half the boxes gone. She gasped. He smiled. "I started moving us. I think tonight's our last night here." He grinned and wrapped his arms around her again.

"Mmm… that's nice." She smiled up at him.

"I thought you'd like that."

She glanced at the clock and groaned. Two hours. And for some reason, she couldn't help but think of that Becky. The one seven years in the past. Her life was about to change, and she was still too naive to see it.

"Ah, Jess." She smiled. "I have to talk to you."

Jesse groaned a little, but stopped. "Yeah?"

Becky led him over to the bed, which was stripped, and sat him down. She tried her best to show the seriousness of the situation. She kept one foot on the ground and placed the other on the bed, sitting pretzel style. She put her hands on her thighs and sat up straight. It worked, Jesse sat up a little straighter too.

"Ya know, how I was out today?"

He nodded. "Danny called, said you bailed at lunch."

She bit her lower lip. "Yeah. Well, I went to the community center around four."

Jesse's eyebrow furrowed. "What, to play Bingo?" She smiled nervously, she noticed a slight shake in her hands so she balled them together. Jesse noticed too. "Spit it out."

"I was in a support group." She let out in a rush.

He was still confused. "For what, moms? That's cool…"

"No," she cut him off. She took a deep breath, ready for the plunge. "It was a sexual assault support group."

She hit the water. It was ice cold. Jesse's face froze for a moment. "What?"

She began wringing her hands, her knuckles were white. "Jess… seven years ago…" She took a breath. "Seven years ago I was raped." She didn't look at his eyes. She couldn't.

She watched his hands instead. They had been relaxed. Now they were in a ball tighter than hers. He was doing the math and realized that seven years ago they were married. Maybe he thought she'd meant seventeen. "When?"

Her eyes moved, but her body was glued. "Seven-"

He cut her off. "I heard you." He paused and took a breath. "Where was I?"

"At the zoo."

He was staring at her when she finally glanced up. "The zoo?"

"You took the boys, the whole family went. Remember, I stayed home. Said I'd wait for the plumber. The kitchen sink was broken… I just wanted a break." She whispered the last part.

Jesse went pale. He remembered. The man had told him he had a beautiful family. Jesse's stomach was suddenly very sick.

He glanced at his wife and before he could help it, he stormed out.

"Jesse! Wait!" He took the stairs two at a time. "Jesse, I'm sorry!" He slammed the door shut behind him, missing Becky's face by an inch. She pounded her fist against the door and shouted. She didn't shout anything, she just plain yelled.

The family was looking at her. She could feel their eyes. She wiped her tears violently and took a steadying breath before turning around. "Boys," the twins perked, "get your coats."

The two headed up the stairs and Becky went towards the kitchen. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but she wanted out. Out of the living room, out of the house, out of state. Hell, she even wanted out of her own skin.

"Becky?" It was Danny. He sounded so sweet, it was like a dagger to her heart. "What's wrong?" He took a cautionary step forward.

"Nothing." She knew he knew it was not true. As she spoke and smiled tears painted her lips. She sniffled. "It's just… I…" She stopped. "Danny, I was raped." She knew she whispered it.

Danny's eyes grew wide. "Are you okay? Have you been to the hospital?" She shook her head and Danny misread the action. "Okay, it will be okay. We have go though, okay?" He grabbed her shoulder gently.

She shook him off. "No, Danny. That's pointless." He opened his mouth to protest, "It happened years ago." Danny looked confused. "I told Jesse." He nodded, slightly. And Becky saw he was confused but… was he relieved too? "It happened seven years ago."

Danny's face contorted, "But, you were--"

She sighed. "I was living here. That's right." And suddenly, she couldn't take it. Something broke in her. Soon a tear slipped and before she could stop more fell until she was weak in the knees.

Danny caught her and held.

And her tears soaked through his sweater.

--

A/N: Review please!


	5. No Fairytales

A/N: This story is coming close to an end. This chapter is third person still, but limited to Jesse. And let it begin.

Warning: A few "F-bombs" were dropped.

Disclaimer: Not mine.  
--

He couldn't believe it.

His wife, his beautiful, strong, loving wife was raped? No. That happened on TV, movies… it happened to other people.

And yet, she said it was true…

Jesse's knuckles grew whiter, his face redder.

That bastard. That fucking bastard! Oh, he'd kill him. Tear him to shreds.

Jesse's eyes glazed over and his anger set in. His thoughts became jaded, all he could see was red, and all he could think of was murder. He'd take that bastard's life into his own hands. He'd make him beg and plea. Jesse's stomach curled. Like he made his wife.

His wife.

Shit! She'd kept this to herself for seven years. Not seven hours, or days, or even weeks. No, for seven fucking years she stayed silent!

"Watch it!"

Jesse's mind cleared and he looked at the driver. He glanced back at the light and revved his bike more. He was flying, he was escaping.

All darkness was behind. He was running from his thoughts and he was trying to escape reality.

…But his thoughts tracked him down and his vision tunneled.

There she was. Innocent, happy. Laughing, one hand lightly touching her chest, her smile bright. Then, suddenly, his body was on top. Her legs kicked, but his hips moved anyway.

Jesse's stomach rolled.

His wife. Her bright eyes grey and teary. Her luminous face caked with wet and dry makeup. Her slender hands fisted and punching.

Jesse pulled over. He heaved.

And through it all, what did Jesse do? He left her. She'd finally opened up, finally felt safe enough, finally trusted him enough to tell him, and he ran.

Maybe she was right. If he ran, why should he be her keeper?

Jesse felt his eyes lace with tears. Soon they were red rimmed and Jesse was crying.

Damn him!

He did an illegal U-turn and forced the bike faster. He'd get to her, he'd apologize, and everything would be okay.

_You honestly believe that?_ It was an angry voice, somewhere Jesse didn't have the heart to explore right then. _That everything will be perfect?_ The nasty voice chided. _Get real. Obviously, life is not a fairytale_.

Jesse gripped tighter. Life wasn't a fairytale, but he'd be damned before he allowed this life to turn into a Greek Tragedy.

--  
A/N: I know it is way shorter than the other chapters… but if it makes you feel any better there might be an extra chapter added that I didn't plan on having…It would be what happened that night. Not the actual rape, at least not graphic. It would be before, and after. Just that night. Tell me if you want it. It would be Third person limited to Becky again. Just, let me know. :) Review Please!!


	6. Choking on your own words

A/N: I don't really know what to say. The POV is jacked up. It is Third Person Limited to Danny and Jesse, I suppose. You'll know when it switches. Final part is back to Becky. :) Oh, and this is my favorite chapter. I feel really good about it actually. :)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

--

"Mommy?" It was Alex.

Danny and Becky sat on the floor, she had completely lost it and Danny felt the floor was a better option. So, she curled into a ball, her head resting on his chest as she grabbed fistfuls of his sweater.

Danny held her, but he spread his legs in front of him. Occasionally a soothing word was heard, all while he rubbed her back in small circles.

Danny looked at the woman when the child called and was surprised to see Becky had fallen asleep. "Ah, Alex… Why don't you and your brother put your coats away. I'll make you a sundae here. 'Kay?"

The child nodded but looked at his mother again. "She's sleeping." Danny reassured the boy. Alex nodded and headed back up the stairs.

Carefully Danny picked Becky up. He was surprised by how light she truly was. Slowly he carried her up the stairs and decided to put her in D.J.'s room.

She curled up the moment her body touched the bed. Danny wasn't sure whether he should be pleased, or sickened.

She looked so peaceful, so much the same… and yet so different.

As he climbed the stairs back to the kitchen he kicked himself repeatedly for not seeing it. For not realizing what was happening.

Mindlessly he made the boy's their sundae and did whatever he could to avoid Joey and the girls. How was he going to explain this? Did she even want them to know?

Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to think. Joey stepped into the kitchen and glanced at the two eating their sundaes. "Dan, what's going on?" He didn't sound like his carefree self. He sounded worried, serious.

Danny would have laughed in any other situation. "Becky's asleep." Monotone. Danny's eyes looked dead and his mind continued turning.

Joey nodded and rubbed his face. "Okay." There was a pause. "Danny, you're really scaring me."

Danny turned his head slowly. "Becky and Jesse got into a fight."

"We figured."

"Becky was raped."

Joey choked on his own words. "What?"

Danny seemed to break from his trance. "It happened years ago. She was here," his voice caught, "and we never noticed."

Joey was confused. "What are you talking about?"

Danny's usually friendly, easy going eyes became so hard that Joey took a small step back. "I'm talking about the woman upstairs, the one who's been substituting as mother for me in my daughters' lives, I'm talking about my _sister_, being raped. Under my roof, and I'm talking about no one caring enough to notice."

Joey's breath caught. "How?"

"Do you really need me to explain that, Joe?" Danny's voice was still cold.

"Where's Jesse?" Danny shrugged. Suddenly very pissed at his Pam's brother. "Well, he wouldn't abandon her." Joey tried to sound reassuring, but he heard the question in his voice. "How long ago did it happen?" Joey's voice was very small.

"Seven years ago."

Joey looked at him. "Seven years? She didn't say anything for seven years?" No, that couldn't be right. How could anyone keep that in for seven _years_?

Danny shook his head. "Obliviously. At least, not to any of us."

--

Jesse ran through the front door and was mildly surprised to see his boys sitting in the living. "Where's your mom?"

Alex put a finger to his lips and Nicky did the same. "Shh…" Alex whispered.

"Mommy's sleeping." Nicky finished in the same whisper.

Jesse nodded and headed up the stairs. He was on his way up to the attic when he spotted something in D.J's room.

Slowly he made his way in, treading water. "Becky?" He asked softly. Nothing.

He took another step and saw her curled up, her eyes closed. But she looked anything from peaceful.

Her skin was a little blotchy and her hair stuck to her face. Her eyes, even closed, looked distressed. And, again, Jesse was dumbfounded by his blindness.

He watched her sleep. She sucked in a breath and gripped her pillow tighter. Jesse's hand landed on her shoulder and her eyes shot open.

She didn't scream, she didn't move, she didn't breath.

She waited.

Her breathing evened out and her eyes cleared. "Becky, it's me." Her shoulders refused to release their tension. "Becks." He gave a watery grin, "It's me."

She turned herself and before she had time to think, Jesse embraced her so tightly Becky wasn't sure he'd ever let go.

She wasn't sure if she ever wanted him to.

And it was the horrible sense of déjà vu. Her eyes flooded with tears as her mind became overwhelmed with emotions she was too afraid to release. "Shh…" Jesse rocked her slightly and continued to smooth her hair.

"Jesse." She let out a gasp. It sounded like she was drowning in her own words. "I'm so sorry… I'm so so sorry."

He held her tighter. "No, no. You have nothing to apologize for." He held her back slightly and looked at her. "You have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be sorry for." He hugged her again and allowed his tears to fall.

"I'm sorry." He spoke. "I'm so sorry, Becky."

"It wasn't your fault." She mumbled against his collar bone.

"It wasn't yours either." His voice was strong.

"I should have said something. I should have just told you then."

Jesse's heart broke. "No, don't apologize. You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything, this wasn't your fault."

Jesse couldn't understand why Becky would put the blame on her, while Becky couldn't understand why Jesse _wasn't_ blaming her.

It was her fault. She'd invited him in. She'd invited him for a drink. She talked with him. Hell, she'd even _flirted _with him.

Her stomach turned.

She wrote the check too. She paid the man for his 'services.' She didn't tell anyone. She was the one who took a shower the moment he'd left. Only to be caught moments later by her husband.

She could have told him then. But instead she told him good night and sat in the shower.

If she had acted right, everything could have been avoided.

"It's all my fault." She whispered it before she could stop herself.

Jesse pulled her away again. His voice was thick, "It is not your fault. You understand? You didn't do this. You didn't ask for this."

Becky nodded mutely. If this was the game he wanted play, she could play. She'd told him, but who said things had to change?

As soon as she woke up tomorrow she'd forget about the stupid seventh year, she wouldn't talk to Danny about it or Jesse and soon, it would disappear.

Becky smiled. Just like that.

--

A/N: This is definitely a darker ending than before. Yes, this is the end. I'm sorry to say it... At least of this story. (Hint, hint: Keep reading for an ending prologue...) Review and tell me what you think. :)


	7. It Happened

A/N: Here it is, the ending prologue. lol Thanks everyone for sticking with me.

Disclaimer: Not mine

--

_7 years ago_.

"Awe, babe, are you sure?"

Becky laughed softly. "Yes!" She grinned and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Besides, I think it is time for the daddy bonding time to start." She winked at him.

Jesse ran a hand through his hair. "If you are sure…" he smiled at her, "…then, thanks." He laughed again and kissed her. "We'll be back in a few hours. I don't know how long I can handle playing mommy."

"I don't know how long the boys can handle you." Becky retorted.

Jesse shook his head, when he looked up again he was still smiling. "Alright, I really got to go." He kissed the crown of her head. "I love ya."

He gave a small wave and closed the door.

Becky groaned, "Finally."

She'd been looking forward to this day ever since the idea came up. Honestly, Becky thought that at two months it was a bit early to be taking the twins to the zoo, but Jesse promised it would be okay. It was family tradition, or so he said.

It didn't matter. She trusted Jesse and a day off seemed like heaven.

Don't get her wrong, she loved her family. But, she lived in a three-bedroom house where both the attic and basement were transformed into an apartment. Also, nine people lived in one house and, there was that dog.

It was chaotic.

Of course she loved it, but everyone needed a break.

She sat on the couch, flipped on the TV and channel surfed. She'd even dressed for the occasion. She wore a white T-shirt and a blue spaghetti strap sundress on top, the hem reaching her ankles.

It was comfy, it was cute, and she liked it.

--

While waiting for the plumber Becky decided to have a glass of wine. She searched for white, but finally conceded to red. It was dry, but it brought back memories of a silly childhood.

It brought her a sense of contentment and nostalgia. She took another sip.

--

The doorbell ran at exactly 7:32. "Perfect," her mind buzzed.

The civil service guy was on time, for once.

"Hello." She opened the door and smiled.

He tipped his hat. "Evening, Ma'am."

He was good looking. His hair was shaved and his body was built. His skin was golden and his hair was dark. He was not the stereotypical plumber. Her smile grew just a tad wider. "Come on in." He stepped inside and Becky lead the way to the kitchen sink. "We think it might just be clogged, but no one can fix it." She gestured with the wine glass.

"I'll have it fixed in no time, Ma'am." He smirked slightly and got to work.

Becky sat at the kitchen table, sipping the red wine slowly. Burning her throat each time.

--

He'd fixed the sink. She'd thanked him and brought him to the living room, her purse was next to the couch.

She grabbed the checkbook and asked who she should make it out to. He smiled and told her the company. He looked at the wine bottle. "May I have a glass?"

Becky glanced at her watch. "Are you on duty?"

He smiled, his teeth white. "This was my last job."

Becky shrugged, "I don't see why not."

He thanked her and took her glass. Somehow filling out the check brought back a memory from the plumber. Becky was confused, but didn't complain. He was good looking, he was company, and she felt like she owed him.

They continued to talk, she flirted slightly. Nothing major, just some playfully banter.

He kissed her.

--

Becky was confused. Becky was hurt and Becky was in shock.

She took a shaky breath and looked around the room. It looked the same…but it felt so different. She stood up.

Her knees were shaking.

She walked over the glass that had fallen over. The crystal wasn't broken, it wasn't even scratched.

She wanted to cry.

She put the empty glass in the kitchen sink and stared at it for a moment. The sink. That is what had brought this on.

A tear slipped.

Suddenly, Becky felt so dirty. And so scared.

She locked the doors and ran up the stairs.

She stripped, quickly.

Everything she had had on was thrown in the trash, she would never wear that dress again. And she knew it.

"Becky!"

She almost jumped out of her skin. She wasn't sure, but she thought an actual squeal was released. She cleared her throat, tears clogging it. "I'm up here!"

She locked the bathroom door.

It jiggled. "Becky, what are you doing?"

"Taking a shower."

Jesse was quiet for a moment. "Want me to join you?" She could hear a smile in her voice.

She wanted to sob.

She closed her eyes and allowed a few more tears. "No." She turned the shower on, hot, and tried to drown out any noise she made with the beating of the water.

She curled into the corner and allowed the steam to caresses her. Occassionally, she stood under the spray, but it would get too hot and she'd go back to the corner.

She cried.

--

Sleeping was the worse that night. She couldn't.

Her eyes refused to close peacefully.

His eyes, his mouth, his hands. That was all she saw.

Her stomach turned.

"What's wrong?" Jesse was half asleep.

"What?" Her voice was shaky. Was she still crying? She couldn't tell.

"You're tense." Jesses wrapped his arms around her tighter.

She stiffened. "Just tired." It was between a whisper and a plea.

Jesse nodded. "Whatever." He gave her a final squeeze. "I love you." And then he yawned and rolled over.

Becky stayed silent. Her mind was racing. Would he still love her if he found out? Would he be mad, would he be disgusted?

She laid there, looking at her husband and concentrating on steady breathing.

She wouldn't tell him. There was no need.

It happened. That was that, she couldn't change it. So, she'd move on and she would be no worse for the wear.

Simple.

--

A/N: This is the final final chapter. :) I hope you guys liked it. Review, please!


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